The next morning I was awoken by Kathy sitting at the edge of my bed. She was tickling my feet and drinking a cup of coffee. She had acquired a key to my apartment some months back (I cannot remember, but I assume that she weeded it out of me). She had taken recently to crashing on the couch after going out. She said that my place was more convenient. I had known her for years, and had learnt that it was better not to argue with her.

'Wake up Derek', she called out.

I turned over and attempted to ignore her, but it did not work. I put the covers on over my head and chanted in an attempt to get her voice out of my head.

'Derek, I want to know where you went last night', she whispered into my ear. I shot up. She had infiltrated my attempt at cushioning myself from the noise.

'What do you want?', I whined. I hated being woken. It reminds me of the early mornings I had had at school when my mother woke me daily by opening the blinds to my room and allowing, mercilessely, the sun to stream in.

Kathy laughed and looked at me. She went out of the room and came back carrying a coffee for me. I took it from her and began to sip.

'Where did you get to last night, my man?', she asked again. She was not going to give up.

'I drove Bianca back to her house,' I replied finally and waited for the onslaught of jibes that I knew were to follow.

'Mmm... thought so. So, what happened?', she asked.

'We watched Letterman, Kath', I replied.

'Told you she wouldn't be into you,' she said.

'Yeah, well, you were right, weren't you?' I said coyly, hoping that this would stave her off. Kathy knew that I had no interest in anyone in particular ever to such an extent that I would bother with any sort of prolonged thought process in regards to it.

'What are you doing today, Derek?', she asked after we had sat and drank our coffee for a while.

'Nothing much. Was thinking of going down to the campus and doing some work. But maybe I'll just stay in and mark some papers,' I replied. She nodded st this. I looked around my bedside table and tried to find a pack of cigarettes. Kathy must have known what I was looking for as she got up and went into the living room. She came back with the pack and an ashtray and we both sat there happily and smoked.

'When did this happen?' she asked me.

'When did what happen, Kath?' I asked.

'When did we become old and dejected?' she replied solemnly. I wanted to laugh but I thought she was being serious. It had become a joke between the two of us that whilst everyone around us was coupling off and getting married, we were slinking into some dark hole that would lead us to death. Granted, the joke was not too amusing.

I got up at that point and decided to start the day. I crawled into the shower and felt the warm water pelt down upon my tired body. I sang for a while. It was a Sunday and I, historically, hated Sundays. Don't know why but always have. Day of rest. It had always seemed to me like a day that had been tapped on as an after thought. It was like a free day, but I would always feel badly if I did not get something done.

The water began to turn cold and I climbed out of the shower. Walking into my room, I noticed a note lying on the bed.

'Thanks Derek. I had to go. I might see you later on. Lots of love and kisses, Kathy.'

I think that I may have had a drawer full of notes like that from Kathy. Always running from one place to another. We had been friends for years but I never had any idea of what she was thinking, why she did the things she did and why she chose to spend such a large portion of her life in my apartment. She surrounded herself with vast amounts of people. She met people everywhere- grocery stores, cinemas, having coffee somewhere... she attracted almost every imaginable type of person. Yet, to my knowledge, I was the only one with whom a friendship had lasted. There was always a fight with one, or a misunderstanding with another... It seemed exhausting to my mind.

After I got dressed I wandered into the living room and got out the essays I had to mark. I had been promising my students that I would have them ready for weeks now. They were so boring, however, that it would take tremendous will power to sit down and mark the lot of them. I decided that I would do just that today.

I picked up the first essay. The author was a highly excitable guy who thought that Tarantino was synonymous with God. He had written an essay on 'Elvis as God' in 'True Romance'. He obviously also thought highly of Elvis. I was surprised to see, however, that he had not chosen a film that had been directed by Tarantino himself. The essay was long and drawn out. The same point was made over and over again: 'Elvis, in True Romance, acts as the God-like figure'...'True Romance shows that whilst Terence can exist within the scope of the film on his own- Elvis is to him a mentor'... 'Terence is guided by Elvis throughout the film.' Wow...I was becoming thankful that these students were not second years and that I was not reading essays on Federico Fellini films.

I lit another cigarette and pondered over the mark I could give to this guy. I remembered nights spent, before an essay was due, writing frantically on the computer. Running constant 'word counts' to check whether I had finished the essay. Hoping that the night would not end too soon and find me a hundred words under the limit. I sometimes imagined my students doing the same and it caused me great amusement. Those nights I had often reiterated passages over and over and placed words such as 'juxtaposition' throughout, to make the tone of the essay flow like an intelligent piece of writing. What did I think? That the marker would sit there and be impressed to the point of tears over the fact that I had studied my thesaurus scrupulously?

The phone rang and I got up to answer it.

'Hello?' I asked.

'Hi, Derek. It's Frank. How are you doing?' the voice on the other end replied.

'Frank', I exclaimed, 'what are you doing up so early on a Sunday?'

Frank laughed. 'Mate, I need a favour', he replied.

'Should have known. What is it today? Pick up your aunt from the airport?', I answered good naturedly.

'None of your jokes today. I need you to pick me up from work. My car's broken down and I have to get home by 2pm', he said.

'Why?', I asked. The thought of picking Frank up from the other side of town and driving him home did not seem like a pleasing one to me today. Or any day for that matter.

'I, uh, promised Judy that I would move out today. If she gets home and finds al my stuff still there I'm a dead man', he answered. Judy and Frank fought constantly. One was always moving out only to move back in a few weeks later.

'Well, I guess..' I began to answer.

'Thanks, Derek, you're a life saver', Frank got in before I could finish my sentence.

'Yeah, I'll be there at one', I answered and hung up.

I guess that put an end to the essay marking at least. My students would most probably rebel and stage an up rising but, really, who cared? It was out of my hands. I got ready to go and pick Frank up and decided that I should tentatively create some excuses as to why he could not hang out at my house for the next week whilst he waited for Judy to decide that he had done his penance and could move back in. On previous occasions, when I had not been adequately prepared and was caught off guard, Frank had moved in and turned the place upside down. I tried to explain to him that there was a reason that I lived on my own- simple things like peace, quiet and clean towels. But Frank did not seem to get the hint. Moreover, he had succeeded in running up a massive phone bill- ringing Judy on her cell phone at least three times a day and having massive arguments (at first) and then retreated into simply begging for forgiveness.

I grabbed an apple from the fridge. I knew that I would not eat it but at least I was coming one step closer to a healthy life style. When I was in the car I popped a tape in and began to bop as I drove. This was going to be a long afternoon.

I had no understanding of the nature of relationships like that which Frank and Judy had (such plain names!). In fact, it had occurred to me some months back, whilst the two had been in the midst of a fight and Frank was rooming with me, that it would have been more appropriate to term the two 'Punch and Judy'. I had voiced this opinion, thinking it quiet witty, only to receive first a reprimanding glance from Frank and later, when the two had made up and Frank had passed on the commentary to Judy, a phone call from Judy telling me that she did not appreciate the snide comments. Really, my humour was overlooked by far too many. The world is a harsh place. Judy had not regarded me kindly since.

Back home or read on.....